grateful.

I feel like I’ve been playing one long game of blog catch-up since last year. I was such a mess — our family was such a mess — and it was all I could do to breathe. It’s time for a long-overdue shout-out to my blogging friends who kept me sane, kept me positive, and kept me going.

Last week Shea’s Mom awarded me the Lemonade Stand Blog Award. Thank you! And, I’m honored! And totally flattered!

The deal is to pass this along to ten other bloggers who I like. Instead of choosing ten (non-conformist), I’d like to send this out to the people who I’ve felt supported me through a tough time last year. In no particular order…

Jen: When I first started reading Jen’s blog, our kids sounded so similar — between the hyperactivity and the sensory stuff, I could have sworn that my E-Niner was the younger version of her son, A. As E-Niner’s issues morphed into something completely different — quite dissimilar from A — Jen was there for me. She commented on every single post that detailed the daily struggles at home with E-Niner, and each of those comments bolstered me. She awarded me a ton of bloggy awards, none of which I ever passed along because I was just too damn tired. Still feel kind of guilty about that! But it’s those little things that let me know she really, truly cared. When I look back on that time, she’s one of the support people who come to mind, though we didn’t see each other in person during that period. I only hope that I can be that caring toward her in return. She’s witty and real and I count her as one of my friends.

Laura: Laura and I go way back. More than a decade, maybe nearly fifteen years? We used to work together at the Alpha Phi sorority headquarters where I think we may have spent just as much time goofing off as we did working. After a while, life got in the way. We matured. Or at least, we both really tried to mature. Maybe. I quit working there, so did she. Then she moved to Minneapolis then Los Angeles and now Seattle. And through the connection of cyberspace, we were able to deepen our friendship over the past couple of years. I really appreciate that. And I appreciated, again, all her uplifting comments on the days, weeks and months that I struggled.

How can I mention Laura without mentioning Lisa? Lisa and I “met” at Laura’s blog. Lisa and I live no less than 15 miles from each other, but we’ve never met in person. That needs to change. Pronto. Not only could I also expect to see Lisa offer her encouragement, sympathy and support on my blog over the course of the last year, I also turned to her privately on e-mail. She sends me jokes that make me laugh my ass off, which everyone here knows I sorely needed, and always, always was there if I needed help understanding early education (she’s a kindergarten teacher). By the way, Lisa, I will not let 2009 slip away without giving you a huge hug…in person!!!!!!

Along with Lisa, I also met Karen at Laura’s blog. Karen doesn’t know this, but I was a total blog lurker for months and months before I made my first comment. I read her blog well before E-Niner started regressing, but didn’t feel comfortable introducing myself to her during a time of great sadness. When I eventually got the guts to say “hello,” she couldn’t have been more gracious, kind and receptive. Karen has also been a great source of strength, support and wisdom for me. For that, I am most grateful.

Then there is Elizabeth. I found her through one of my many bouts of Googling blogs written by parents of children with special needs. Of the hundreds of blogs I’m sure I’ve found over time, it was hers that came to life in front of me. She describes in such earnest detail what it is like to live moment-to-moment in a never-ending crisis — her words are ones to which I wish I didn’t relate, and words I wish she didn’t have to write. She was quite honestly the only person I felt not only understood what it was like to struggle every single day while simultaneously living in constant preparedness and fear of the next “episode.” As E-Niner’s condition improves, I must admit to a tinge of survivor’s guilt. I wish I could provide her more than just a sympathetic ear; I wish there were a cure for her daughter Sophie’s epilepsy.

Rounding out my supportive friends are Holly, Christina and Wrong Shoes. Not only did they offer such supportive comments while things were difficult, I had extensive relationships with each of them via e-mail. Holly provided me such tremendous help over the question of residential placement; Christina was always quick to say something kind and give me resources to consider; and “Wrong Shoes” never failed at presenting any number of helpful links and research regarding what was happening with E-Niner. What would I have done without you?

What would I have done without any one person on this list?

Last year was the hardest year of my life. It would have been harder without this fabulous, wonderful cadre of true friends.