derailing.

My novel is derailing due to lack of free time to write. It’s taking me about 2 and a half to three hours a day to write 1800 words, and I just don’t have that kind of time every single day. I’m not sure I’ll be able to finish the novel by November 30. We’ll see.

Also, my anxiety has totally kicked in, and to be honest, I think this is what is taking up my mental space now: my in-laws got a dog. If you know me, you know I have an extraordinary phobia of dogs. When I was a toddler, my next door neighbor’s playful dog chased me around my backyard and I felt so terrified. I’m not sure where my mom was at the time, but the neighbor lady, who was working in her garden heard me screaming and picked me up right away. Up until that chase, I loved that dog. I’m sure I didn’t understand everything that was said to me because I was so small. Since then, dogs have scared me.

We’re going to my in-laws house for Christmas, and of course I keep thinking of these awful things that a young 40 pound poodle puppy could do. I’ve got a horror movie called Five Days of the 40 Pound Poodle looping through my head.

So now my anxiety’s got the best of me again and it’s taking up too much mental space to write the novel. I need to figure out how to get myself unscared of dogs by the time we travel. Anybody have any suggestions?

Anyway, I would be more coherent with this post, except that I have two screaming children next to me. Got to go…