I can’t end the day being a New Year’s Scrooge, especially since my New Year’s resolution was to find positive things to think about E-Niner’s issues. It’s quite possible I’ve broken the record on breaking New Year’s resolutions. At the very least, a personal best.

A few days ago, Holly wrote about happiness, a post inspired by Penelope Trunk, all of which got me to thinking. In the original post, Penelope gave three pieces of advice on what women can do to be happy later on:

1. Don’t have kids.
2. Keep your career.
3. If you’re divorced, have plastic surgery.

Hm. Not sure if I agree with any of them.

First off, if you don’t have kids intentionally, I’ve got to believe that you may sometimes look at your peers who are parents wondering what you are missing. Is that wonder, even if momentarily, a happy feeling? My guess is no.

If you don’t have kids, you don’t have those responsibilities. But you also don’t have the opportunity to feel a whole host of heightened emotions that parents feel for their children.

For me, happiness is a wash where kids are concerned. If you don’t have ‘em, you don’t know what you’re missing — it’s more of a neutrality than happiness. If you do have ‘em, even for all the grief, there’s payback in spades — which balances each other out, so we’re back to neutral.

As far as a career:

What if your career were forced prostitution? Or, on the white collar and legal end of things, what if you dropped your own interests to work at your family business because that’s the way it’s been done for years?

Or what if you landed in a particular field because that’s what was available when you graduated from college and you’ve moved up in the ranks getting more and more specialized that now you’ve pigeon-holed yourself in this career and its path kind of at random?

Plus, a career for the sake of a career is not going to make somebody happy.

Finding something you love that also pays the bills and allows you time to pursue relationships and other important commitments outside of your work? That’s a different story entirely. How many people get that in life?

And last, plastic surgery. After watching every single episode of Dr. 90210, I’ve got to say this is one where she just about hit the nail on the head. My question: Why does one have to be divorced in order to enjoy plastic surgery?! I’ve been doing laser hair removal for my underarms, and let me tell you, this married chick digs it. And when I’m done with underarms, I’m going for more!

So what makes women happy? Damned if I know. I can’t even begin to guess. What I can say, though, is that becoming complacent in anything you do — from parenting to working to your relationships — ain’t gonna do the trick.

And what is happiness, really? Is it instant gratification? I mean, really? Is it Botox? No. Obviously no.

I think happiness is something more along the lines of being able to look back on your hard work, whatever that might have been (work, hobby, love, parenting), and ultimately feeling satisfied in what you were able to accomplish and the grace with which you did it.